My uncle passed away peacefully

I have been accompanying my uncle to Tan Tock Seng Hospital since April 07 for his Lung Cancer treatment. I accompanied him for checkups, Chemotherapy, Radiotherapy, scanning, etc. I was his interpreter for his doctors and the spokesman to update our family members since then. As a result, we got quite close together because he always share his life stories and gave me advices on how I deal with people, etc...

On 6th Feb, 8:45pm, my mum called, informing me that my uncle was admitted to A&E in Tan Tock Seng Hospital. This is the 3rd time he was warded over 2 months. I thought its just another A&E and he should be okay, but I was wrong. This time round, I was guided into a private room when I arrived and a doctor was there to brief me on serious his case was compared to the previous cases. After the briefing, my uncle was pushed to Intensive Care Unit in Ward 6B. There was a tube inserted into his mouth where oxygen was pumped for his breathing. He was semi-conscious and not able to talk due to the tube into his mouth.

Being the family and hospital spokesperson, I became the busiest person there. I'm responsible for controlling visitors in and out of ICU and to update everyone on his health condition. I am also a very crucial support for my uncle, updating him his condition every few hours.

On day 2, it was confirmed that the cancer cells had spread beyond the lung and he will likely go within 2-3 days. I was in a dilemma if I should update my uncle on his real condition. Should I tell him to stop fighting to reduce the pain or to tell him to carry on. I decided to tell him to keep fighting and that chances of survival is still high. I know he listens to me and will fight on if I tell him so.

He was in tears whenever my relatives talk and cry. He can still shake and nod his head whenwe asked him a question. I got to know so much about my uncle over the 2 days because every relatives and friends have a different story to tell me about him.

I was so worried that he will become unconsious that I dared not leave the hospital until day 3 morning 5am. He was shouting through his tube at 3am. He was frustrated for not being able to talk. We have to tie him up to the bed as he was violently struggling. It must be his last attempt for trying to talk since then. I updated him the time at 4am and he gradually went into deep sleep. I'm the last one who managed to talk to him.

I returned to hospital after 5 hours of sleep at home and continue my routine of crowd control and updating his condition. My uncle cannot open his eyes but he seems to be listening. There was tears when someone said things that touched him. There was also a intense discussion if we should bring him home. We eventually decided against it and he stayed in ICU.

It was 6:20pm, I was in ICU with my wife and his 3 daughters. I was updating my wife on his case. I told my wife about his true condition and there are no chance of survival. Shortly, I updated him that it was 8th Feb, 6:30pm. After this update, I noticed that his pulse reduced by 1 every minute and his blood pressure started to drop. I thought its normal until the moment when I pulled his eyelids to wipe his tears, his eyes suddenly opened wide and looked up at the ceiling.

I quickly dashed out of ward and shouted for my Grandma, mother and anyone outside. His pulse was very weak when they entered the room but my mother was still not in sight. I desperately look for her and when she arrived, I saw the heart-beat on the machine stopped. This is the moment everyone broke down and shouted for him. I couldn't stomach the scene and got myself out of the room. I was thinking, thank God. He left peacefully...

I'm still thinking if he had overheard my conservation with my wife that his case is hopeless and my last reporting of date and time that he decided not to fight on anymore.

I started arranging for the funeral and the paperwork in obtaining the death certificate when everyone was still grieving. It is his first day of funeral today and I'm most likely be appointed as the administrator for his estate. He has 3 daughters, no wife and a 86 yrs old mother. I think I'll be kept busy for quite sometimes.

I'm glad that I'd pushed away all my appointments and stayed with my uncle till his last moments. I'm glad for updating him the time he died. I know he was listening to me. I'm glad that I managed to open his eyes to see his loved ones. I'm glad to have this chance of knowing him so well over the 2 years of cancer fighting. He is a good man with a tough front but a soft heart. His is a fighter who always stay positive and make people happy. A good man left and I thank God again that he left peacefully...