Saturday, September 20, 2008

Problem of Low EQ and Salemanship

I had written so much serious stuffs lately and just feel like writing something lighter before I head back north to Malaysia again tomorrow morning.

I usually am not able to express myself very well or talk to my clients as if we are good friends. I always try to find something to talk especially when a long silent broke between me and my client. Sometimes, I rather that I'd not open my mouth in the first place because I always say the wrong thing once I open my mouth. I like to share a few of my recent experience with you to how you show lousy my salesmanship and EQ are.

(All these incidents happened within September 08)

Apple, Orange and Dog
* I was at my client's place as we were discussing on the type of plans suitable for her 6 yrs old son.
* In the midst of our discussion, my client went to her room to look for something that I requested.
* I was left with her son in the Living room and tried talking to him. I pointed an apple on the table and asked him if he knows how to spell. He shook his head. I pointed at the orange and asked him the same question. He shook his head again. I asked him if he knows how to spell a "Dog". He said "D..A..G" with a long pause between each alphabet.
* When her mum came back to the Living Room, I asked my client, "Did your son learn spelling? He don't seems to know how to spell an apple and a Dog."
* My client don't looks happy and replied, "My son may know many things that you don't know. His Chinese is probably better than yours."
* Stunned for a moment. I knew I had spoke something wrong...

You are a real Hypocrite
* I had arranged to meet this client at 8:30pm at his home that day. He was still not home when I reached his door and his 60 yrs old mother invited me to the house.
* I started chatting with his mum and she kept complaining that my client always like to play computer games and not serious with his work. I somehow nodded my head and agreed with her that we should be serious in our work. blar blar blar...
* When my client came back, the topic on computer games came out from his mum again. I naturally told her that computer games sometimes can help relieve some stress after a hard day of work. Its actually okay to play a bit a of games... blar blar blar...
* My client's mum got so angry. She said, "Adrian, you looks honest to me. I don't expect you to talk like a hypocrite and a 2 headed snake. What did you tell me just now?"
* My heart nearly jumped out. I knew I had spoke something wrong again...

Always forget that its Fasting Month
2 incidents on this.
* One of my muslim client came to my office in the afternoon. I conveniently went to the pantry and bring a cup of water for him and put it right in front of him.
* He looked at me and asked, "Adrian, are you trying to tempt me?"

* On the other occasion, I met this client at a fast-food joint in the afternoon. I conveniently asked again, "Can I get you a drink?"
* She replied,"I'll like to. Maybe I don't looks like a Malay to you."
* Oops. I know I said something wrong again..... (How blur I am always...)


Anonymous said...

Adrain, all your shortcomings can be overcome.
Focus on your grammars, spelling and the use of words.
How to relate to people , or have people skill or EQ whatever they are, the first thing to do is learn to LISTEN. Shut up and listen. Ask questions.

Anonymous said...

Being tactful is something you need to learn as time goes by. Being aware that you should not have said this or done this has proven one thing and that is you are a considerate person.
Cheer up and there is a lot more to learn in life.

Anonymous said...

You seem to be like a square peg in a round hole in this job. The only virtue I can see in your expressions is your candidness. By telling your client that the son cannot spell is like saying that the son is either stupid or the parent is not a clever one.
You are fortunate to have malay customers as they normally prefer to have a malay adviser. By offering them a drink in the fasting month gave them the feeling that you do not know about their needs. Do a bit of preliminary homework first. I still feel you are not cut out to do sales, that is why you face these kind of frustrations often and no matter what you say, people often misconstrue your intentions.
So you are either a Malaysian or a PR here?

Wilfred said...

No worries Adrian, everyone has their shortcomings. Everyone also have strengths too. If improving your shortcomings is difficult, than improve upon your strengths - which is much easlier. Let your strengths outshine your shortcoming.

urgonecase said...

1st incident
->If You dont have anything nice to say, don't say it. Don't make small talk for the sake of small talk. Whoever don't know that a kid to a parent is the most precious thing. You can try saying the kid looks like a guy when she is a female.. look at the reaction. Or if the kid is not cute but you want to say something.. find a good point like if the kid really have bright eyes.. says "wow! the eyes is very big and bright.. people say will grow up to be very intelligent woh.." You are not lying.. nor being insincere.. you meant it.

2nd incident
->Indeed a hypocrite. Trying to please your customer at the expense of others. When you nod in agreement, you must mean it. Don't nod for the sake of being patronizing. People know and so that's why when you change your position, she realised you are a hypocrite. You indeed is one.

If you have felt that playing games would relax, you could have told the mother that you agreed with her and relate how you used to play games too much and your mother also complain. But your mother is not complaining now as she knows I am working hard and sometimes, I relax by playing games after work.

Adrain.. I suggest you consider switching job.

to be harsher to you.. I can't say you are honest or frank... From all the incidents you have mentioned in your blog, It means you don't think and that's why words just come out without much thought and consideration to others.

Khiat Han Hwee Adrian said...

Oops. I thought I'm writing something lighter. Din expect seeing so many comments on this topic.

I'm just trying to share my experience. Such thing can happen to anyone but maybe we did not realise it.

I have to agree that I'm not a good salesperson. But I think I'm better compared to few years ago when I can't even string a proper sentence.

Thanks for all your comments.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous 3.02am,
Adrain is untactful. I think he admitted that he has no EQ and that is being honest. Of course he could choose to be hypocrite and phoney like many insurance men and women who use their glib tongue to earn a living. They could stoop to anything
,lie to get approved .These hypocrites are plentiful in the life insurance business.
Adrain, best is to keep quite . Don't engage in small talk for the sake of it like Mr. Urgonecase said.If you have to say something like all those despicable insincere agents say something that is positive but not phoney.
I think the best is SHUT UP AND MOVE ONE(SUMO).
Don't be discouraged. Selling is not about having the gift of the gap. It is about advise and advise the best you can to meet the needs of the cleints and not bullshitting with their arsehole mouth insurance agents have.
Maybe you still have much to learn but admitting your shortcoming is good first step. Keep up and don't be discouraged by noises.


Wilfred said...

"I have to agree that I'm not a good salesperson. But I think I'm better compared to few years ago when I can't even string a proper sentence."

You are a good person with a kind heart. That is all that is required from a good adviser. Financial planning is not rocket science and hence high IQ is not required. You are a lousy salesman but a good adviser. Thus concentrate being a good adviser and forget about being a salesman. A good adviser is not a salesman and does not need to be to earn a decent living. A good adviser doesn't need high EQ either. You also do not need to be tactful. If clients trust you, they will overlook all your shortcomings.

Anonymous said...

Haha. I like what anonymous@3:02am said -
"You seem to be like a square peg in a round hole".

Very humorous. Haha.

Let me try :-
You seem to be a soccer player playing in a basketball match.

Khiat Han Hwee Adrian said...

Soccer player in a basketball match?

I think its like Usian Bolt Swimming 100m freestyle and Michael Phelps running the 100m sprint.

PanzerGrenadier said...

Hi Adrian

Consider joining a toastmasters club. The art of small talk and conversation CAN BE LEARNED.

Tact and EQ comes from experience. Experience comes from making mistakes and learning from them. The important thing is that you are able to reflect on what you've said inappropriately and know to take corrective action in the future.

Being polished in front of people can be trained!

If you are interested, check out



Anonymous said...

Wa.. this wilfred very good ah...

he says you are a good person and don't need high IQ in this line....

He say you stupid is it???